Free Time!

Today is September 30th. School has been in session for a month and this is the first “free” morning I have had. I am not sure why I am so surprised that it took so long, it takes this long every year. As the end of August approaches, I start fantasizing about all the “free time” I will have once school starts. I dream of all the long mornings after drop-off with nothing but time on my hands. Time to write, time to send out queries, time to myself. And yet that does not really happen, not right away anyway. Those long mornings quickly fill up with volunteer activities at the school, appointments put off until school days can provide the free childcare required for such appointments, and even paid work (yay for paying jobs!).

And so after a full thirty days, my “free morning” has finally arrived. I am still in bed (yes, I am!) and I reading, writing, reading, and writing some more.

All good things come to those who wait!

Pick Me! Pick Me!

 

I was chatting with a fellow mom outside the school one morning when the Parent Association President approached:

 

“Hi! We have school pictures tomorrow and we are a few volunteers short…”

 

I start nodding.

 

“… and I was wondering if either of you would be able to…”

 

I nod faster.

 

“… stay after drop off – “

 

“I can!”

 

“ – to help with the photos?”

 

“I’m available!!”

 

I am the super-keen-kindergarten-mom. I want to do it all. When the notice came out that names would be drawn if more than two parents volunteered for the class field trip, I made sure to arrive early the next day to get my name in there. On the first day of school I signed up for half the volunteer jobs at the PTA table. Volunteer burnout? Bring it on!

 

Why do I want to do so much stuff at my kid’s school? Am I not ready to let go? Am I trying to ensure a positive academic experience for her? Am I just a volunteer junkie?

 

I don’t think I am that unusual, most schools report a high parent involvement in the early years with a corresponding drop in participation as their kids get older. But do most parents need to resist the urge to jump up and down shouting, “Pick me! Pick me!” every time a lackey – er, volunteer – is needed?

 

It seems that we have parents doing a lot of the stuff I remember older kids getting to do: staffing concessions, photocopying, cutting, fundraising, etc. – the kind of volunteer jobs I always tried to sign up for so I could get out of class. I have to admit, it is still a bit of a thrill for me to be at school without having to do any actual schoolwork.

 

I don’t think this is a bad thing and I know the help is needed, so I might as well put my time in while I still have the interest. I am sure the day is coming when I will want to  get in and out of the school quickly, without making eye contact, in order to avoid any possible volunteer requests. Until then I will keep saying “yes” and try not to jump too high when shouting, “Pick me! Pick me!” 

 

Mmm…now where did I leave my scissors? I still have about 100 stars to cut out for the school’s Christmas charity project.

Timely Reward

I have been waiting for this moment since our daughter was a baby, since before even: I drop her off at school and I am wearing my yoga pants, reflective runners’ jacket and running shoes. I am that mom.

My husband says I am one step away from arriving at school in my bathrobe, but I say he is missing the point! I am not sporting casual apparel because I am taking a comfortable shortcut in the morning; I am sporting casual apparel because I want to be casual. I want to do something for myself that is good for me and is just for me. I want to go for a walk.

I view these morning walks as both a luxury and a reward. Many moms I see in the morning are rushing off to work or heading back home to care for the rest of their young children. I am free for three hours, this is a luxury; after being at home for the past 5½ years, this is also my reward.

I was happy to leave the rat race to stay home with our daughter and now that she is in school, I am happy to continue avoiding the rat race. I love being able to take our little girl to school in the morning and then do my own thing. I love going for a walk. I love meeting a friend for coffee. I love running errands by myself and I absolutely love sitting at my desk and writing for three hours straight.

So while I may not go for a walk everyday, when I do I am dressed for the part. From my yoga pants to my Lululemon Brisk Run Gloves, I am ready to enjoy my time.

Independence Day

Well, it finally happened. After five and a half years of helping our daughter gain the confidence and skills needed to become an independent school-age kid, she went and did it. And I couldn’t be happier/more upset.

Anticipating a tearful good-bye on the first day of Kindergarten, I worked with our daughter to prepare her for the inevitable separation. What I did not anticipate was how quickly she would adjust. While I did have to bribe her with McDonald’s on the first day (not a good example to set, I know, but this was a hard day for me too!), by the next morning we hardly had her coat off when she turned to me and said, “OK, you can go now.” Ooookay. I did not think I was hovering until the fourth day when she stunned me with, “Mom, I can handle it!” Alrighty then.

I am, of course, thrilled that our little girl has made the leap to independence at school, but, like many before me, I am also a bit sad. Not crying-hysterical sad (I got that out the way the night before school started: “Can’t we keep her back one more year?” “No honey, she is already five and a half.”), just sentimental sad.

I know this is not a unique story and that moms all over the world shared this same experience last week. I just miss my baby and know that, like every mom, I always will.

Sleepy Mommy

My daughter is starting Kindergarten in a few weeks. I am excited, she is excited. But I am also a bit sad, not (just) because my little girl is approaching another milestone in her precious life, or because I am going to miss her terribly, or even because she is “growing up so fast.” No, my reason is not nearly so sentimental. I am sad because we will now have to get up early, every morning.

 

I have never been a morning person. I am most productive in the morning, if I can get myself out of bed, and therein lies the rub. I just can’t convince myself, at 7:00 a.m., that getting up early is a good thing.

 

For the past 5½ years I have been in the fortunate position of stay-at-home mom to a late sleeper. Unless we have something scheduled for the morning (play date, preschool, or appointment), we rarely haul ourselves out of bed before 10:00 a.m. or 11:00 a.m. We do wake up earlier than that, we just don’t get out of bed. If my daughter does happen to rouse herself at the ungodly hour of 7:00 a.m. or so, she is always happy to join me for a snuggle in our bed and we snooze a bit longer. Around 9:00 a.m., we turn on the TV and she watches cartoons while I read the newspaper, she with a bowl of cheerios and me with a coffee. It is blissful.

 

I used to feel guilty about this little tradition of ours and never spoke of it with others, lest they think me a lazy mom! I would lie and say that we got up around 8:00 a.m. or 9:00 a.m., as that is sleeping in for most moms of young children. During this past year, however, I have started confessing my sleepy mommy habits more and more often. I stopped feeling bad about wasting away our mornings together, because I realized that Kindergarten was coming. Soon enough we would be on the same schedule as most of the world and once you are on it, it is almost impossible to get off. So I now proudly tell of the average time we get out of bed (around 10:00 a.m.), I even brag about it sometimes. But I will still never admit to the mornings we laid around until noon; some things just need to be kept private.