New essay up on CanadianParents.com!

I am very excited to see my personal essay up on CanadianParents.com! Check out “Mom Support” in the Being A Mom section:

 

http://www.canadianparents.com/article/mom-support

 

Everyone Makes Mistakes

So, I am helping my daughter with her homework the other day and she asks me to check her math. I find two mistakes and hand it back to her.

“Oh, no,” she sighs.

“That’s OK,” I tell her, “everyone makes mistakes. It is how we learn.”

“Right,” she replies, “Everyone makes them.”

“That’s right, kiddo!”

“Yeah, everyone makes makes mistakes. I mean, look at you, you make them everyday!”

Thanks, kiddo!

Like Mother, Like Daughter

 

Most women rue the day they recognize their mothers’ traits in themselves, but what about the day you realize your daughter is like you?

 

I sat down at the computer the other day grumbling about my daughter’s habit of disagreeing with me simply for the sake of disagreeing. As I hammered away at my Inbox, deleting email after email without even opening the messages, an uneasy feeling came over me. I noticed my purposeful and stubborn refusal to read these emails was simply because I did not want to succumb to the obligation to read them. Never mind that these were all messages I had requested. The situation suddenly felt unnervingly similar to my daughter’s earlier reactions. It made me stop and think:

 

Could this be a behavior she picked up from me?

 

I shook my head with irritation. I could not possibly agree with a notion like that.

Little Miss Manners

 

“Excuse me. Excuse me.”

 

My daughter is quietly and respectfully trying to get the attention of her daycamp instructor. I smile proudly. My daughter is so polite.

 

“I’m bored.”

 

And honest, too.

 

When it comes to teaching manners, most parents struggle with the question: is there such thing as too much honesty?

 

I say “yes.” White lies are fine, fudging the truth a bit here and there is OK, and lies of omission to spare someone’s feelings are all perfectly acceptable in my book.

 

And living vicariously through the honesty of a five-year-old?

 

Fine by me.

Extracurricular Anxieties

School is starting this week and along with it comes the task of registering children in various extracurricular activities.  This annual fall activity causes much parental fretting about signing up for too many/not enough activities, how to pay for them, how to fit them all in, and how to get the kids there and back. When I talk to my more seasoned mom friends about this, I almost feel the need for a Xanax.

 

Since I only have one kid, my fretting in this regard is pretty minimal. My only real concern is getting our daughter a spot in her chosen activity. I am shocked at how much I have to spend on dance lessons and the required shoes and clothing we must outfit her in, but feel relieved when I look at the mom next to me who is outfitting three little girls. She is talking to another mom who is wondering how she is going to get Emily to dance class on Tuesday nights when Jason is at hockey, Laura is at piano and her husband is teaching night classes until January. Because I do not work outside of the house, getting her to this dance class once a week is not a scheduling issue, but rather a way to fill an afternoon. Really, I don’t have much to worry about.

 

With our daughter starting Kindergarten this year, we have only one extracurricular activity planned for her. We have decided to wait and see how it goes before signing up for anything else, and hope that we are doing the right thing for the right reasons. With parenting these days, it seems that nothing we do has a singular meaning, and additional meanings are being tacked on all the time. By enrolling our daughter in dance lessons I am no longer trying to keep my kid active, entertained and out of trouble, I am now fulfilling my parental responsibility to “instill a love of lifelong learning.” Whatever happened to signing up for dance lessons because it is a fun thing little girls like to do? Or because I want a break for an hour? Or because we both think the costumes are cute?

 

As a natural worrier, I try to be aware of possible stressors that may be coming down the pike, so I can nip them in the bud. With school starting and mom-conversations turning to what I call “extracurricular anxiety,” I aim to be steadfast in my approach and not succumb to the stresses and self doubts, both real and imagined, that extracurricular anxiety brings to us parents. I am proud to report that we have our daughter’s after school life in order and are determined to keep it that way, regardless of how much we have to change it!