It is easy to become overwhelmed when faced with a large task and a little amount time. I know this, and I know that when it happens I need to step back, take a breath and shake the panic out of my head.
On Wednesday night, I read an email asking for confirmation of silent auction items for an event happening that Saturday. I had promised to make a quilt and it was half-finished in my sewing room. All of a sudden it hit me: I had to have this thing finished for Saturday. Panic and curse words flew through my head and I made a bee-line for the box of unfinished quilt blocks.
After pulling everything out and putting it up on the design wall, I stepped back and gauged my progress. I had a long way to go. It was intended to be a scrappy collection of memories, celebrating 80 years of existence for this group. I had about half of the blocks adorned with some kind of meaningful visual; I had no idea what to do with the rest.
I felt myself getting more and more anxious as I thought about my schedule for the next few days and how much time I actually had to work on this. I considered my options: maybe I could leave some blocks blank, maybe I could repeat the same applique, maybe I could just back out of this commitment and put the whole thing back in the box.
But I couldn’t let myself quit. First of all, the guilt would get to me. Second of all, the idea of adding yet another incomplete project to my sewing room made me a little nuts. So, back to the design wall.
I was determined to complete the quilt, but was frozen with indecision about how to proceed. I forced myself to take a breath and thought of Anne Lamott’s “Bird by Bird.” Take this one step at a time, Kathy, I thought, bird by bird. I remembered something a writing teacher had told me about the creative process. It is like headlights on a dark road – you can only see a few feet in front of you, but you know there is more road coming up in the darkness. I knew I had the creativity in me to do this, I just did not know what it was yet. So, I took it block by block.
And it did come together. When I let myself (well, forced myself) to calm down and take it one step at a time, a pattern developed on the design wall. I started to like what I saw and was enthused about the vision that was forming on my head. It took many hours and a few days, but I got the quilt done. And I was pleased with what I had created.
And because you know I love a good quote, I leave you with a few words from Martin Luther King Jr. (And when you read the word “faith,” think of the faith you have in yourself and your own creatives process. I know I will.)
“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
